If I Could Blush
by Molahsurey
Summary: When Kryten sees Lister and Kochanski together he gets the wrong impression but soon the truth gets out.


"I saw! I saw everything!" Kryten cried out as Lister stepped over the threshold of Kochanski's doorway.

Lister stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Kryten in surprise. "Saw what?"

"You thought I wouldn't see it but I did, I saw it! I saw it and I even heard it too!" The mechanoid began to mock sob.

The third technician frowned and held out his hand in a gesture to calm down. "Kryten, what did you see? You're going to have to be more clear if you want me to know what's going on man."

"You and that woman were kissing!" Kryten squealed.

Lister raised his eyebrows and smirked, "No! We were not kissing,"

"Liar!" Kryten squeaked again, this time more high pitched.

Lister looked over his shoulders to make sure the emotional robot hadn't drawn Kochanski's attention. "Chill out, I'm telling the truth. I think I'd be in a much happier mood if that's what we were doing, believe me."

Kryten sniffed, "That doesn't really make me feel any better."

The man's brow creased, "Why not?"

"Because now you're wishing you had kissed her and the thought of you wanting her makes me figuratively sick," the mechanoid explained.

Lister took a moment, then, to motion Kryten a few feet away from Kochanski's door. "Why? Why do you always care so much about how I feel about Christine?" There was a pause in which Kryten stood there pitifully, still sniffling, and cogs started to turn in Lister's head. "Unless…" Something had dawned on him in that silence. A knowing and concerned expression filled his features as he took a step closer to Kryten. "You're not just worried about me getting rid of you, you're jealous aren't you?"

Kryten shifted nervously, he was too scared to answer that so he decided to change the subject, slightly. "If you weren't kissing then what were you doing?" he stuttered.

Lister sighed. "There was a loose panel with some damaged wiring behind it spewing sparks in her room, she asked me to fix it. The panel was pretty heavy so I propped it open with a chair. I ended up needing a wire cutter and I asked her to hand me one, she had to lay down beside me in order to give it to me. As she did so she accidentally kicked the chair away and the panel fell down onto us. From where you were standing it probably looked like we were making out on the floor and what sounded like moaning was really us groaning in discomfort." He ended his account with a light chuckle.

After hearing this all Kryten could do was stand there stiffly and let out an embarrassed 'Ah'.

They stood quietly for a few seconds, Kryten looking down at the floor and Lister staring intently at him; Lister broke the silence. "I'm sorry if you're jealous of Kochanski."

The robot acknowledged his comment with a grunt; it wasn't a topic he was used to discussing.

Lister gave him another concerned look before suddenly lunging towards him and embracing him. "It's alright man, I understand. It's nothing to be ashamed about." Before pulling away he gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Kryten's eyes were round with shock and it seemed as if steam would spout from his ears at any moment. "What was that for Mister Lister?"

Dave blushed slightly, "I thought that might make you feel better…you really don't have anything to worry about, Kochanski's not that special." Of course he had to whisper the last part.

Kryten wrung his hands as he spoke, "…Do you think we could go to my quarters? I'd like to confess something without any chance of someone overhearing."

Lister nodded, "Sure."

They walked mutely through the corridors, Lister following close behind Kryten; finally they got to the latter's room. The doors shut once both went into the room and Kryten almost looked more nervous than before. Lister walked over to Kryten and put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, "Hey, don't worry. Everything's alright."

Kryten shuffled away, "I just have something I want to tell you but it's hard to say."

"Just say it. I don't care what it is, I promise." Kryten still looked unsure so Lister went to the bed and sat down patting the spot next to him. "Come sit down Kryters."

Kryten walked awkwardly over to the bed, plopped down, and sighed. Lister put his full attention on him. Kryten adverted his own eyes as he began. "That time I was converted into a human the thing I wanted the most was a kiss, I have always wondered what that might feel like. And the person I wanted to give me that kiss was you." He closed his eyes, embarrassed, as if that would hide him.

Lister had always had the feeling that Kryten was attracted to him so this didn't really come as a surprise. He thought it was incredibly cute how the mechanoid sat there with his eyes closed and his face scrunched up like he was waiting for Lister to either yell at him or hit him. Lister brought his hand to the back of Kryten's head and drew him closer so that he could kiss him square on the lips.

Kryten opened his eyes in awe; he didn't expect this of all things. Soon though he just closed his eyes again and enjoyed it.

When Lister pulled away he saw that Kryten seemed much calmer now and he was glad. "I don't know if that counts or not considering you're not still human but there you go. That's what a kiss is like, more or less."

"Thank you immensely, I don't know what else to say…I have always had…feelings…for you Mister Lister Sir."

Lister smiled adoringly at him, "I know Kryten. And I've pretty much always returned those feelings."

"You have?"

"Yeah, you're so caring, easy to talk to, and adorable, how could I not?"

"But I'm a robot, don't you find that a little objectionable?"

Lister shook his head, "No, I think that if you love someone or something enough then nothing else matters."

"Are you saying you love me?" Kryten asked hopefully.

Dave grinned and laughed, "Yeah…yes…I'm saying I love you." Lister didn't think it was possible but Kryten's eyes lit up at that.

"Sir, if I could blush I'd be blushing so much right now," Kryten admitted.

"Aw!" It was all Lister could think of to say, that was just too cute.

There was a pause and then suddenly Kryten bolted from the bed and stood in front of Lister. "Is there anything I can do for you Lister Sir? I mean, do you have laundry that needs to be done or would you like a curry? I don't think I can just sit here anymore to be honest, I'm getting too flustered."

"I can think of a few things I'd like you to do for me," Lister replied with a wink. But he knew he shouldn't mess with the nervous mechanoid too much. "Although, now that I think of it, a curry would be nice; thanks for offering."

"You're always welcome, no trouble at all, I will have that curry for you in no time!" he called happily as he scuttled out of the room.


End file.
